


Dear Happiness

by xol (firetruck)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Gen, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-09-19 19:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9457598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firetruck/pseuds/xol
Summary: Minseok is 6 years old when he gets his leg broken and 25 years old when he gets his dreams broken.





	1. one.

The automatic sliding doors invite in a gust of warm wind as Minseok enters the only grocers within fifty miles of his house. The big city vibe of the larger supermarket isn’t anything he would ever pass up, but he much prefers the five minute walk down to Kart’s. Besides, his best friend works there and sometimes Minseok can weasel a few samples of fresh fruit out of him.  
****

As it happens, Kyungsoo is in a surprisingly giving mood today, greeting Minseok with a heart shaped smile and a small plastic cup filled to the brim with diced fruit. It’s accepted graciously, Minseok using the plastic, sword-shaped toothpick to spear three pieces of fruit at once. 

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” He mumbles around a mouthful of honeydew and cantaloupe. 

“Promotion,” Kyungsoo replies proudly, standing a little straighter. “I’m assistant shift manager now.”

Minseok makes a congratulatory noise from behind several squares of juicy watermelon, tossing his arm around Kyungsoo and pulling him in for a hug. Always a man of surprises, Kyungsoo hugs back, and Minseok grins, dripping juice onto his friend’s neatly pressed uniform. 

“Ew, Minseok,” Kyungsoo pulls away. “You got watermelon seeds on my apron.” 

He flicks the seeds off his shoulder and watches them scatter across the floor, smiling apologetically through some pineapple. 

“There, all gone.” 

“Do you know who’s gonna have to clean that up?” 

“Not you, because you’re assistant shift manager now?” 

“…You’re right. Forgiven.” 

They laugh and Minseok knocks back the fruit juice at the bottom of the cup with one swig before tossing it. 

“See you later?”

“Later,” Kyungsoo affirms with a nod.

The automatic sliding doors invite in another gust of warm wind as Minseok skips out of Kart’s, a _Thanks for the fruit, Soo!_ thrown behind him casually. Kyungsoo waves, but Minseok is already long gone. 

***

By the time Kyungsoo hangs his apron up, the sun is already inching towards the horizon. His sneakers slap against the backroads as he races his way through the foliage spanning across more than half of Morae-dong, heart pumping a frenzied beat in his chest. The heat in his face is palpable as he finally reaches the wheat fields, and he takes a moment to close his eyes and let the breeze wash over him. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he yells Minseok’s name as he ventures further into the tall fields, scanning the area around him. 

Just a few feet away, a hand pops up out of the wheat, followed by a head. Minseok waves back and forth, Kyungsoo picking up the pace. He plops down next to him with a sigh, rubbing at his neck. 

“Am I too late?”

Minseok grins, looking positively endearing even with pieces of grass sticking out of his dark hair, and shakes his head. 

“Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “You’re just in time, as usual.”

He lies back down and Kyungsoo follows, but not before taking off his jacket and placing it under their heads. The field rustles and sways around them, and their hands inch closer and closer until Minseok raises his to point at the sky. 

“Look! The best part is starting.”

They watch as the sky changes from blue to pink to orange to red, filling the gaps with quiet conversations that bring smiles to Kyungsoo’s face until it aches, and even after the sun sets and they’re chased out of the field by the darkness he can still feel it in his cheeks.

His feet drag as they near his house, a simple two story building painted eggshell blue and accented with an off-white tone. Minseok taps a tune on the sidewalk as he watches Kyungsoo open his mailbox, peering over his shoulder at the stack of pamphlets. 

“College?” He inquires, and Kyungsoo shrugs. 

“Yeah…”

“Have you decided?” 

“No,” he shakes his head. “I don’t want to think about it right now.”

“The closest ones are so…far away,” Minseok sighs. “It’s at least an hour by bus. I guess Morae-dong is too small for something like that.”

“We have community college classes…”

“I know, but it’s not the same. If I’m going, I want the full experience. Somewhere in Seoul, maybe.” 

Kyungsoo tastes the wistful tone and clutches the pamphlets tighter in his hands.

“That’s ages away,” he murmurs. 

“Not that I’ll get to go anytime soon,” Minseok admits. “The farm still needs me.”

Kyungsoo nods in understanding, relief tingling his fingers as he unclenches his fist.

“Yeah. Of course.”

Minseok claps him on the shoulder and Kyungsoo jumps a bit. He’s rewarded with a grin as Minseok bids him goodnight, getting ready to jog back to his own house down the stretch of country road. He’s Kyungsoo’s closest neighbor, clocking in at just two miles away. 

“Goodnight, assistant shift manager!” 

A sharp salute is delivered and Minseok takes off, Kyungsoo waving from his driveway. He notices Minseok’s shoelace dragging behind him, but he’s already a speck on the horizon in the next second, too far for Kyungsoo’s words to reach. 

***

It’s hardly 6:30 when Minseok stumbles out of bed, hair sticking up every which way and mouth tasting like hay. Smacking his lips, he shuffles down the hallway towards the bathroom, his mother popping her head out of one of the rooms, laundry basket cradled in her arms. 

“Morning, sweetheart!”

Minseok mumbles something unintelligible.

“Kyungsoo brought over some pie for you this morning, bless his heart. You were still asleep, so I sent him off to work with some eggs Jjangu laid this morning.”

“Thanks,” he says mid-yawn. “Is the pie in the kitchen?” 

“Yes, but not before you’ve had your toast and eggs, alright?” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he drawls, dodging the sock tossed at him. 

He feeds the chickens and lets them out once he’s stuffed full of Kyungsoo’s special apple pie, stooping down to crawl into the pen and collect eggs he gingerly places into a basket. The cows are next, and he gives them affectionate belly rubs, quickly filling two cases of milk. Once he delivers the slop to the pigs, he loads the milk and eggs into the back of the delivery car and drives back down the country lanes, heading downtown.

 

Being assistant shift manager is tougher than Kyungsoo originally anticipated. Now he’s actually responsible for the antics his cashiers pull, and Junmyeon, the manager, is far from lenient. It was easy to throw aimless threats from behind the safety of his counter at Jongin and Sehun whenever they made fart noises into the intercom. They ignored him, and it was fine because although he was technically head cashier, it made no real difference. Now he was assistant manager and they still ignored him, making it increasingly difficult to keep his temper in check. 

“You just have to assert yourself,” he remembers Junmyeon saying once. 

He snorts as he makes note of their stock this month. Junmyeon is the easiest guy to pushover and Kyungsoo is friends with Yixing, for god’s sake. The only backbone Junmyeon possessed was the stick up his ass. 

_“Attention all shoppers. Morae-dong’s very own darling, Kim Minseok, has just entered the premises. Please cease your grocery shopping and put your hands together for a round of applause.”_

Kyungsoo’s chair rolls into the wall with how fast he gets out of it. There’s an alarm blaring in his head and it screams one thing: He has to stop Sehun and Jongin before Minseok comes in and they make fools of themselves—or worse, of Kyungsoo.

_“His milk is fresh and his ass is tight—Jongin, let go of the intercom, let me finish—Oh hey, Soo. Please resume shopping, shoppers. There’s always a helpful smile in every aisle at Kart’s!”_

The mic is wrenched out of Sehun’s terrible hands by a flustered Kyungsoo, thick eyebrows drawn dangerously close. Jongin muffles his laugh with a cough and mumbles an “I told you so!” before ducking back into his lane. 

The automatic doors open as Kyungsoo is about to give Sehun the smackdown of his life and Minseok walks in, toting a crate of milk on one shoulder and a crate of eggs on the other.

“Thank god you guys installed automatic doors,” he comments, setting the produce on Jongin’s counter. “Anyone mind giving me a hand with the rest of this stuff?” 

Sehun scrambles past Kyungsoo with an enthusiastic “I will!” and Minseok grins, much to Kyungsoo’s distaste. He’s left alone with Jongin as he watches them walk to Minseok’s car.

“At least there was no one in the store,” Jongin ventures.

Kyungsoo returns the intercom mic to its stand with more force than necessary. 

“Tell Sehun he’s in charge of stocking today,” he huffs. “I’m going back.” 

 

 

Minseok leans against the counter as Sehun breaks his back stacking the milk and eggs. His white shirt fits snugly against his chest, he smells minty fresh, and Jongin is definitely not staring or considering accidentally spilling his water bottle all over him. 

“Should we help him?”

“Nah, Kyungsoo is punishing him.”

Minseok arches an eyebrow and Jongin’s knees go a little wobbly. 

“For what?”

“Dunno.”

“Did you guys have a fart-off with the intercoms again?”

“No!” Jongin blushes and Minseok laughs. 

“Is he in the back?” 

“Uh huh. Go tame the beast, hyung!”

 

 

Kyungsoo almost flings his pencil across the room when Minseok drapes himself over his shoulder, hair tickling his face. 

“How’s my favorite assistant manager?” 

“Working,” he answers. “Did you get the pie?” He spins around in his chair, setting his pencil aside. 

“It was delicious,” Minseok praises. “I can never get mine to hold. You’ve gotta teach me sometime!” 

“Hm…I don’t know…are you asking me to just leak all my secrets? Next thing I know, you’ll be asking me for my banana bread recipe too…”

“Don’t be stingy, Soo,” Minseok pleads. “You can afford to leak some secrets to your best friend, right?” He bats his eyelashes dramatically, clasping his hands together. 

Kyungsoo purses his lips, obviously amused. 

“I’m not sure Junmyeon could recreate my culinary masterpieces, Minseok,” he muses.

“Not Junmyeon!” Minseok throws a punch at Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “I meant me! You don’t even hang out with Junmyeon outside of work.” 

“Ow! Ugh, you’re right. You punch so hard. Damn.” 

Minseok only laughs. 

“It’s official, then. Bring your apple pie recipe to my house the next time you come over, or face the wrath of my hunger! I’ll be waiting, Assistant Manager Slash Best Friend Do Kyungsoo!”

Making an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture, he backs out of the room and into the hallway, disappearing around the corner leading to the main section of the store. Kyungsoo returns to his work in much higher spirits than before, already mentally jotting down step by step instructions for the perfect apple pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really out here writing xiusoo...damn
> 
> re: "morae-dong"...its just a random town name idk..i got it out of a generator bc im Unoriginal  
> re: "kart's" ...its from ksoo's kmovie "cart" lol


	2. two.

“Two scoops of mint chocolate chip,” Kyungsoo says, sliding a ten over the counter. 

“You really don’t have to,” Minseok insists. 

“I can spend my first upgraded paycheck how I want to,” Kyungsoo declares, and Minseok breaks into a smile. 

“My dear Soo is all grown up,” he coos, slinging an arm over his shoulder, and Kyungsoo is too flustered to shake him off. 

“Hey, Soo?” Chanyeol waves the ten in his face from behind the counter. “You want change, or do I get to keep the extra?”

“Don’t call me that,” Kyungsoo begins, “And keep it. But play us something nice while we’re eating.” 

“You’re not my boss,” Chanyeol whines, handing him two scoops in a cone. He hangs his striped apron up anyways, practically skipping over to the small upright piano nestled in the corner of the ice cream parlor. 

Minseok sits across from Kyungsoo in one of the booths as Chanyeol fills the shop with music, licking at his cone. 

“Do you want some? Your favorite is also mint chocolate chip, right?”

“It’s for you,” Kyungsoo says, shaking his head. 

“C’mon,” Minseok wiggles his eyebrows, holding out the cone, and Kyungsoo relents. 

 

 

 

 

“Do you think you’re gonna stay forever?” Minseok asks out of the blue one day. 

“Huh?” Kyungsoo stops chasing chickens, hands still outstretched as he turns to look at Minseok. 

“We can’t stay in this place forever, right? There’s so much more out there, Soo.” 

“..There’s a lot here too.” 

Minseok smiles at him but his eyes are unfocused, thinking of the future. 

“You think so?”

“I know so. Besides,” Kyungsoo says, biting his lip and wiping his hands off, “We’ve got each other.” 

“I hear Sehun and Jongin are planning to go to Seoul for college,” Minseok blurts.

“What?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “Traitors!” 

Minseok throws his head back and laughs. 

“I know, right? Going before their hyungs, those cheeky brats. They’re lucky they don’t have a place to look after.” 

Kyungsoo sits down next to Minseok on a couple of overturned buckets, making himself comfortable. The sun is halfway down the hill already when Minseok speaks up again. 

“Remember that time I broke my leg chasing Tan down the hill?” 

“Your old dog,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “Yeah, I remember.” 

“You took care of me so well,” Minseok sighs. “You could be a doctor one day, Soo.” 

Kyungsoo’s cheeks flush with praise and he looks down at his hands. They’re rough and calloused from farmwork, and they were the hands of a worker, not of a doctor in some high-end practice. 

“Yeah, right,” he chuckles. 

“I’m serious,” Minseok emphasizes. “You could do something great with your life instead of staying stuck in this rut,” he says, and it almost seems like he’s really talking to himself. “You don’t have to live this life. You could be happy.” 

“Minseok.” 

Minseok turns to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes and his shoulders drop. Kyungsoo smiles at him reassuringly and reaches a hand up to swipe a trail of dirt away from his cheek. 

“I _am_ happy.” 

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon is the first to leave. He meets someone online, a wealthy Chinese businessman, and within the year they get engaged. When Kyungsoo asks how many times they’ve met in real life, Junmyeon flushes pink and looks down at his ring. 

“Once a month,” he says. “But it’s love.”

Kyungsoo thinks its money, but Minseok tells him to keep his thoughts to himself unless he wants to upset his former boss. 

They’re invited to the wedding. It’s local, but the the reception is in the city and Minseok is thrilled. 

Sitting in uncomfortable plastic chairs, Kyungsoo looks at Junmyeon’s fancy tuxedo and thinks that it doesn’t suit him. He wonders if Yifan, Kris, or whichever name he was introduced as, has ever seen Junmyeon covered in dirt, shirt tied around his waist and mud caked onto heavy boots. He wonders if he’s ever seen him with his hair matted to his forehead, sweat rolling down his back, wonders if Junmyeon had ever shown him or if he had neatly cleaned away that part of himself. He wonders if he’s ever seen a genuine smile on Junmyeon’s face, watched his eyes twinkle, or heard the awful sound Junmyeon calls a laugh. 

“He looks happy,” Minseok whispers when he leans over. 

Kyungsoo watches Junmyeon kiss his husband, hanging onto him as if his life depended on it, sees the way he presses himself into him like an anchor, and claps along politely with everyone when he’s scooped up and carried like a princess all the way to the sleek black car waiting for him at the side of the road.

“It doesn’t suit him.”

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon only comes back to visit once, within the first year of the marriage. He’s cleaned up now and Kyungsoo almost doesn’t recognize him, but when he does he thinks Junmyeon could fit perfectly into the cookie-cutter mold of a trophy husband. His hair is styled, he’s wearing an expensive looking shirt, and his teeth look whiter when he smiles and brings out a name-branded wallet. 

“How was your shopping experience?” Kyungsoo says smoothly, scanning the store’s most expensive items. 

“You don’t have to be so formal with me,” Junmyeon laughs, stiff and nervous, sounding almost like a plead. “I’m not your boss anymore, remember?”

“Why are you back?” It comes out harsher than Kyungsoo intended. 

Junmyeon quiets down immediately. 

“We’re moving back to China,” he says in a small voice, one that Kyungsoo hasn’t heard before. “I convinced Yifan to let me come back one more time before we left.”

“You speak Chinese now?”

“Bits and pieces,” he shakes his head. “Yifan’s been teaching me, and he says I’ll pick it up better once we actually start living there.” 

“I see.” Kyungsoo finishes bagging the groceries. “Junmyeon?” 

“Yes?”

“Are you happy?”

Junmyeon’s expression falls so fast Kyungsoo thinks for a split second that he might be seeing things. He acts like he wasn’t expecting the question, credit card still between his fingers and eyes wide. He opens his mouth as Yifan rounds the corner, stepping beside him with a bottle of expensive rose wine dangling between in his hands. 

“One more,” he winks, setting the bottle down. 

Junmyeon closes his mouth, swiping the card with a practiced hand. 

“Have a nice day,” Kyungsoo says, and Junmyeon gives him a tight smile. 

Kyungsoo watches him carefully as he walks out the automatic doors, footsteps matching Yifan’s. Once they leave, he realizes Junmyeon left his copy of the receipt on the counter. He picks it up and reads the words scribbled on it in a haste. 

_“Dear Kyungsoo, it’s good to be back. As for happiness, I’m still waiting.”_

Kyungsoo crumples the note and tosses it in the trash. 

 


	3. three.

“Are you just gonna sit there all day?” Sehun frowns, a large cardboard box in his arms. “You could at least make yourself useful, like Minseok.” 

“I don’t see you being any more helpful,” Kyungsoo says, flicking a piece of lint off Jongin’s bed. 

“Um, hello?” Sehun gestures to the box with his chin. “I’m carrying this box.” 

“You can fool Jongin and Minseok, but I’ve been sitting here for half an hour and I know for a fact that there is nothing in that box.” Kyungsoo picks up a sweater draped over Jongin’s chair and tosses it at Sehun’s face. “Make yourself useful, you hypocrite.” 

“I thought we were supposed to be packing, not yapping,” Minseok quips, sticking his head through the doorway. “Jongin’s almost done loading the boxes. I came back up to see if you two had gotten any filled…” Minseok surveys the room, eyes landing on Jongin’s laundry chair. “I see no progress has been made.” 

“Yeah, Kyungsoo. You should’ve been picking up Jongin’s dirty clothes,” Sehun says. 

“Why can’t he pick up his own dirty laundry?” Kyungsoo groans, getting up. “I’m not touching that pile anymore. Who knows what’s growing in there? Give me that box, I’m gonna put away his books,” Kyungsoo huffs, snatching the cardboard box out of Sehun’s hands. 

“Oh no,” Sehun laments, clearly not bothered at all. “I have no box. How am I supposed to help? I guess I’ll just leave now,” He says, moving towards the door. “So sorry.”

Minseok grabs Sehun’s side firmly, lifting him clean off the ground momentarily before situating him next to the chair. 

“Not today, you slippery little fox,” Minseok chides, handing him a box from the floor. “Clothes in here.” 

“Oh, why didn’t you say so? Of course,” Sehun says, beginning to take his shirt off. Minseok laughs and punches him on the shoulder.

“Have fun, you two,” he says, leaving the room once more. Sehun pulls his shirt back down. 

“This is your fault,” he complains, throwing a pointed look at Kyungsoo, who looks mildly disgusted. 

“Please don’t talk to me.” 

 

 

 

A week before Sehun and Jongin are due to leave for college, everyone gets together for a going-away party. It’s hotpot and bulgogi for everyone, on the hyungs, and then karaoke with more food until everyone’s lungs give out. 

Yixing knocks back three shots in a row and falls asleep on the floor halfway through a song that Chanyeol finishes after prying the mic from his cold, not dead hands. Sehun and Jongin get a few drinks in their system too, having an impromptu dance battle with Chanyeol as the background vocalist. 

Even Kyungsoo drinks, after much wheedling from Minseok. The night is pretty much over once Sehun and Jongin collapse on the couch and Chanyeol remains awake and very much drunk, crooning slow songs into the microphone as he sways back and forth. 

Minseok returns from the bathroom to find Kyungsoo nursing his glass of soju and pushing Sehun’s head off his lap. 

“Still on your first drink?” He whispers, amused as he takes his seat next to him. 

“You don’t have to whisper,” Kyungsoo says, gesturing towards Chanyeol. “He’s so wasted I don’t think he’d notice if I threw my drink at him.” 

Minseok laughs. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Kyungsoo takes another sip from his glass, hyperaware of Minseok’s thigh pressed against him and the way their shoulders touch every other second. 

“So…this is really happening,” he begins, vaguely gesturing at the passed out forms of their friends. “College, I mean.”

Minseok sighs and Kyungsoo feels it even before he hears it. A head drops onto his shoulder, hair brushing against his neck, and the tension in his form melts. 

“They’re all grown up now,” Minseok jokes. He lifts his head up when Kyungsoo doesn’t respond. “You still there?”

“Hmm? Yeah, I am.” He purses his lips. “You know…this isn’t actually my first drink,” he admits. 

Kyungsoo turns his head towards Minseok, opening his mouth to say something else, but he closes it once he sees the steady rise and fall of Minseok’s chest. Under the artificial lights, Minseok looks almost unreal, the curve of his lips calling out to Kyungsoo, soft skin begging to be touched. 

He remembers his eighteenth birthday suddenly, how Minseok had dragged him out of bed early in the morning with promises of an adventure and how he had let himself be swept away, his phone and jacket the only things on him. They had stood beside the road for nearly half and hour, thumbs stuck out until a truck pulled over and they had piled into the back. 

They sat in silence, watching the road grow smaller and smaller, and Minseok had put his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. After much deliberation, Kyungsoo had draped his arm around Minseok’s shoulders in response, pulling him closer. 

There was a soft breeze on the beach that day, enough to bring relief from the sun but not enough to disturb the sand. Minseok had bought them ice cream and pretentious drinks in mason jars with a paper umbrella and wedge of lemon on the side. They kept the paper umbrellas, Kyungsoo tucking them into his jacket as they laughed about how ridiculously expensive everything was. 

The rest of the day was spent on the beach, making sand castles and treading water. Their hair and clothes were still damp when the sun began to set and they climbed into the back of another truck, kicking off their shoes. 

All Kyungsoo can remember about the ride home is an intense desire to kiss Minseok, intertwine their hands and let his actions say what his words couldn’t. 

He doesn’t end up kissing him. And in the dingy karaoke room, surrounded by friends and Chanyeol humming sadly into the microphone, Kyungsoo wishes he had the courage to. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

At the end of Sehun and Jongin’s first year of college, when everyone is waiting for them to come back, Kyungsoo receives a call. 

“Hello?” 

“K-Kyungsoo?” Jongin chokes into the receiver, and Kyungsoo freezes in the middle of wiping his hands on his apron. 

“Jongin? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“It’s not me,” Jongin whispers, “It’s S-Sehun.” 

“What about Sehun?” 

“He…He…” Jongin stutters, voice shaking.

“Breathe, Jongin. It’s okay. Tell me what happened.” 

“Oh God, I—I don’t know, I don’t know what h-he tried to…” Jongin draws in a ragged breath. “I’m…we’re at the hospital, he wasn’t, I didn’t know who to call first,” he rambles. 

“..The hospital?”

“Y-Yeah,” Jongin swallows thickly. “It’s…It’s been really hard here. You know? We miss home. Especially Sehun. Even if he didn’t want to admit it.” 

“Is that why you’re at the hospital?” Kyungsoo lowers his voice. “Did Sehun try and..” He trails off, not sure how to approach the subject. Jongin starts sniffling. 

“Please don’t tell M-Minseok. Sehun will be so mad at me,” he pleads. 

“Are you…Are you guys still coming back?” 

Silence. 

“Sehun has to stay in the hospital for another week or so. I’m…going to stay too.” 

“Okay,” Kyungsoo nods. “We’ll see you when you get back then.” 

“Kyungsoo?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t..don’t tell anyone, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Kyungsoo sets the phone down and looks at Minseok, his face pale and holding back tears. He had heard everything. Minseok buries his face in Kyungsoo’s shoulders, arms tight around his waist, shaking from head to toe as he cries. Kyungsoo guides him to the couch and they sit, pressed against each other and silent until the pie in the oven begins burning.


	4. four.

_“Kyungsoo, I’m leaving.” Minseok’s voice echoes oddly in the room where he stands, facing away from Kyungsoo. “I’m moving to Seoul with Luhan.”_

_“…I don’t understand,” Kyungsoo says, voice quiet and distant. “Why are you leaving me?”_

_“You’re selfish. You don’t want me to leave, but there’s nothing for me here.”_

_“No,” Kyungsoo shakes his head, feeling heavy. “No, that’s not right. Minseok, look at me. Don’t go. Minseok?”_

_“Goodbye, Kyungsoo.”_

_“What? No, Minseok, please—“_

 

Kyungsoo awakes with a jolt as a hand is placed on his shoulder. Yixing stands over him, confusion etched onto his face. 

“You okay?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Kyungsoo rubs the sleep from his eyes. “How did you get back here? The store is closed.” 

“Unlocked door,” Yixing shrugs. 

“Oh. Well, why are you here then?” 

“I’m looking for Minseok and Luhan.” 

Kyungsoo hates that. _Minseok and Luhan._ Like they’re some sort of package deal, like you couldn’t see one without the other, like they’ve been together their whole lives when the truth is that Luhan’s only been in town for two weeks. Before then, he didn’t even know Minseok existed, and now he acts as if they’ve known each other for years. 

“I don’t know where they are,” Kyungsoo says curtly. 

“I checked in all the usual places. I was thinking…” Yixing pauses carefully. “Maybe Minseok took him somewhere you two usually go. You know. To show him around.” 

“The field. He’s probably at the old barn.” 

“Come with me?” 

Kyungsoo shakes his head. Why would he willingly torture himself by seeing Minseok and Luhan together in the place that belonged to him and Minseok? He’d rather drop dead. 

“I still have to…log all the sales.”

“Don’t lie to me. They’re all finished.” 

Kyungsoo sighs. He knows Yixing won’t stop until he’s forced him to agree, and he’s too tired to fight it. 

“Fine. Let me get my keys.”

 

 

 

 

 

Luhan is Yixing’s childhood friend from when he used to live in the city. They hadn’t seen each other in awhile, and Luhan decided to venture to the countryside for the first time in his life to visit. He immediately hit it off with Minseok, and they had spent every day together ever since. 

“I still can’t believe you’re so well-traveled. I mean, how do you do it?”

“I took advantage of the advantages I was born with,” Luhan jokes. “Have you ever traveled?”

“No,” Minseok flushes, looking down. “I’ve lived here my whole life.” 

“You should come with me,” Luhan says earnestly. “We could travel together. I can take you to all of my favorite places.” 

“Are you serious? That sounds amazing,” Minseok says. “I wish I could.” 

“No reason why you can’t.” 

“It’s not that simple, Luhan,” Minseok sighs. 

“It could be.” 

Minseok looks up, surprised to see Luhan staring so intently at him. His heart stutters for a beat as he looks into his eyes, feeling heat crawling up his cheeks. 

“Why are you doing this?” 

“I like you,” Luhan says honestly. “And I want to spend more time with you. What better way to grow closer to someone than by traveling the world together? Minseok, you’re an adult. You can make your own choices, right?” He smiles softly, grabbing his hand. “You can leave. What’s keeping you here?”

Minseok’s phone buzzes, and he glances at the screen. It’s Kyungsoo.

“I…I don’t know,” he admits, not sure if that’s the truth. 

“Think it over? I’ll see you tomorrow,” Luhan winks, hugging Minseok before grabbing his bag. He’s out the door before Minseok can say anything else, leaving him more uncertain of his place than ever. 

 

 

 

 

“He’s crazy, Minseok.” Kyungsoo says simply. 

“What? He is _not_ crazy,” Minseok frowns. 

“Think about it. The guy hangs out with you for a couple weeks, thinks he knows you, and then tries to cart you away on some expedition? Sounds like bad news to me.” 

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean he’s crazy. He’s a good person. Yixing is friends with him, for God’s sake.” 

“Since when does Yixing have credibility when it comes to picking friends? I mean, he’s friends with Sehun and Jongin, for God’s sake,” Kyungsoo mocks. 

“Ha ha. Is now really the time for jokes?” Minseok rolls his eyes. 

“All I’m saying is that I don’t trust him. Besides, what’s so good about the city? You really think you’ll be happy there? Find your life purpose or whatever?” 

“…So what if I do?” Minseok defends, crossing his arms. 

“I’ve seen a lot of people leave, and none of them were better because of it. Do you really believe you can travel with Luhan, anyways? What happens when he gets bored of you?” 

“What the hell, Kyungsoo?” Minseok bites his lip. “You’re being such an asshole right now.”

“Or maybe you’re just too blind to see the truth.” 

Kyungsoo kicks himself for letting his jealousy get the best of him, but it’s too late. Minseok’s expression is all kinds of hurt as he gathers himself, and he keeps his eyes downcast as he stalks towards the door. 

“I thought you were my best friend, Kyungsoo.”

The door slams behind him and Kyungsoo watches Minseok walk down his driveway, wiping tears from his eyes, regret settling like a stone inside of him and crushing his insides. 

“I am.” 


	5. five.

The ice cream parlor is oddly quiet these days. The small upright piano in the corner is dusty from disuse, and Kyungsoo’s been avoiding the place for awhile now. It seems strange for him to keep returning considering the whirlwind of events that happened recently, and he hasn’t seen Minseok here lately either. 

In fact, he hasn’t been seeing much of Minseok at all lately. 

 

* * *

 

A month before Luhan arrived, Chanyeol was contacted by some big record company in Seoul. They wanted his talent in their studio, they said, and Chanyeol had practically combusted. 

“They want _me_ , Soo! You think they saw my YouTube video?” 

“No, they just called you out of nowhere.” 

“Okay, I know you’re being sarcastic right now but I’m way too excited to care!” Chanyeol gushes, gripping his phone tightly, perching on the couch like a wound spring. 

“When do they want you to go?” 

“Next week! Kyungsoo, I’ve only ever dreamed about this and now it’s really happening. Just imagine all the equipment they have in the city studios! Oh my god, my hand is shaking.” Chanyeol sticks his hand out. “Look!” 

 

***

 

“Can you just be happy for him for once?” Minseok sighs through the phone.

“I’m happy for him all the time,” Kyungsoo frowns. 

“Okay, but you really need to show it this time. You’re younger than him but he still looks up to you. He’d be crushed to know you don’t think he should go.” 

“What? I never said that!” 

“Yeah?” Minseok raises an eyebrow. “I read between the lines.” 

“You mind not doing that?” 

“Yeah,” Minseok scoffs, “Sure. I’ll just stop being your best friend of like, twenty something years.” 

He laughs, and Kyungsoo does too. 

 

***

 

“I dont understand,” Kyungsoo complains, lugging a gigantic suitcase. “What could you possibly have in all these bags?” 

“All of my worldly possessions,” Chanyeol says in complete seriousness. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand your logic.” 

“I’m an artist!” Chanyeol proclaims. 

“See what I mean, Seok? He hasn’t even left yet and he’s got a big head already.” 

“Hasn’t he always been like this?” Minseok grins, squeezing Chanyeol’s arm. 

The taxi doesn’t take long to arrive, and soon enough Chanyeol is sliding into the passenger seat after a couple of bone-crushing hugs and teary-eyed moments. 

“Wish me luck!” He calls, sticking his head out of the window. 

“Good luck, Chanyeol!” Minseok yells back as the taxi takes off. 

Kyungsoo waves and watches as Chanyeol is swallowed up by the horizon. 

 

***

 

In some ways, Kyungsoo thinks Luhan is a distraction for Minseok. Something to pass the time with. Something to help take his mind off of what happened to Chanyeol. 

Or maybe Minseok really does fancy Luhan and Kyungsoo is just bitter.

 

***

 

The news comes out of nowhere. Kyungsoo can hardly believe what he reads, but then he looks again and there it is, printed in bold ink on the front page of the newspaper. 

_“Rookie Celebrity Producer Park Chanyeol Admitted to Rehab for Substance Abuse!”_

There’s an entire article after the title, and it feels like a fever dream, reading through it. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do once he reaches the last sentence. Cry, maybe. It would be the appropriate response, he supposes. 

Instead, Kyungsoo goes around town and buys all the copies of the newspaper he can find. It costs him a paycheck and a half, but he doesn’t care. He loads piles of newspapers into his truck and drives far into the field, as far as he can go before the road ends, and dumps all the papers into the dirt. 

He lights a match and tosses it into the middle. The articles catch fire, a blurry photo of Chanyeol smiling on the front cover burning at the edges and curling in on itself. Smoke rises, and after awhile all that’s left is a charred mess, the remnants of Chanyeol’s dream catching on the wind and disappearing. 

Kyungsoo sinks to the floor, entire body feeling cold despite the heat. There’s another tear in his heart now, and alone in a field, far away from anyone else, he cries. 

 

For Chanyeol. 

For Junmyeon.

For Jongin, for Sehun. 

For Minseok. 

For Yixing. 

 

And, selfishly, for himself. 

 

***

 

No one hears from Chanyeol, but Kyungsoo isn’t surprised. He’s probably not allowed to have a phone right now. 

Kyungsoo wonders if Sehun and Jongin know. He wonders if Junmyeon knows. 

He hopes, in his heart of hearts, that they don’t. 

 

***

 

Alone at a table for two, Kyungsoo wonders why he dislikes Luhan so much. Luhan is change, Luhan is different, Luhan isn’t Kyungsoo. And maybe that’s it, maybe what excites Minseok about him scares Kyungsoo. 

Luhan is adventure, and Kyungsoo has never quite developed a taste for it. 

 

* * *

 

Fate brings Kyungsoo to a crossroads, puts him in a position he never thought he’d be in to make a decision he never thought he’d make. Fate brings Luhan to him, looking like a kicked puppy, features downcast and hair messy. 

“Have you seen Minseok around lately?” Luhan says, and Kyungsoo’s heart skips a beat. 

“Why?” 

“He hasn’t been talking to me for the past few days.” Luhan bites his lip. “I thought…well, maybe I said something to upset him. Maybe he’s mad at me.” 

“Huh. That’s odd. You two were glued together at the hip just a couple days ago.” 

Luhan blushes and Kyungsoo smiles, lips pressed together. 

“Yeah? I mean, I guess. He’s a great guy. I don’t know him like you do, though. You guys are best friends, right?” 

Kyungsoo shrugs. 

“Since forever.” 

“So I was wondering if he’s been talking to you…about things. Is he mad at me? Should I go see him?”

Fate is a funny thing, Kyungsoo decides.

“Luhan,” he begins slowly, “I don’t think you’re a bad person, so I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t think Minseok wants to see you right now.” 

Kyungsoo looks directly into Luhan’s eyes as he speaks and finds there’s nothing compared to the feeling of seeing the spark in them die while knowing he was the one who put out that flame. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh jeez


	6. six.

There is no such thing as good or evil, right or wrong. The world simply does not operate in black and white, because everything is doused in shades of uncertainty and questionable morals. 

And Kyungsoo does not choose to be bad or good. He chooses to be certain. Sure in his actions, confident in his ways, and above all, acting without regret. 

He needs things to be this way. He has always needed things to be this way—his way. 

And in order for this to happen, he must do three things. One necessary, one terrible, and one beautiful. 

 

* * *

 

Minseok doesn’t look at Kyungsoo. He sits across from him, legs crossed on the couch, a stranger in his own house. 

“I have something to say.” Kyungsoo breaks the silence first, and Minseok lifts his head up warily. “I’m here to apologize. I’m sorry for being such a jerk. You’re my best friend, and I shouldn’t have said what I said.” 

“You were right,” Minseok says finally, and Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Luhan hasn’t come to see me. I guess…he didn’t mean what he said after all.” There’s a sad smile on Minseok’s face that Kyungsoo can’t bear to see. 

“Don’t look so sad, Seok,” he says softly.

“Kyungsoo, I’m sorry too,” Minseok admits, frowning into his hands. “I should’ve trusted you. All city people do is lie. I don’t know what I was thinking. I…I don’t even know Luhan.” 

Kyungsoo gets up and walks over to Minseok, sinking into the couch beside him. Without a second thought, Minseok lays his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. 

“Soo, let’s not fight anymore.” 

And this is how it should be, Kyungsoo thinks to himself. Him and Minseok against the world. They would make a life right here in Morae-dong, and he would make Minseok happy. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Kyungsoo knew that this was how it was meant to be and that he would do anything to protect the reality he had created. 

“Let’s not fight anymore,” he agrees. 

Minseok reaches for his hand and their fingers interlock.

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what he’s doing at the bus stop until Luhan appears around the corner, heavy backpack resting on his shoulders and a suitcase in tow. He looks tired and his eyes are laced with fatigue, but they light up a bit once he spots Kyungsoo. 

“You came.” 

“Why am I here?”

“I need to ask you a favor.” 

Luhan fishes a necklace out of his pocket and thrusts it at Kyungsoo. It’s a silver chain with a pendant—two rings linked together. Kyungsoo almost drops it. 

“…What is this?”

“Please give it to Minseok. Tell him that I…” Luhan pauses, biting his lip nervously. “Never mind. Will you give it to him for me?”

“Luhan…” 

“ _Please_ ,” Luhan urges. “I’d do it myself, but..he doesn’t want to see me, right?” He lets out a hollow laugh. “Look, it’s important.” 

“I understand.” 

Luhan sighs in relief. 

The bus pulls up within the next couple of minutes, he piles his luggage into the vehicle, and Kyungsoo finds himself watching Luhan wave at him as he’s driven away. He stuffs the necklace into his pocket and turns his back on the road. 

On the way back, he stops by the river, pulling the necklace out again. 

It’s beautiful. Obviously expensive, and obviously some sort of sign Luhan wished to pass along. 

There’s only a moment of hesitation before Kyungsoo throws it into the river. 

 

 

 

 

The wind rakes through the field, blowing the wheat in one direction and bringing the faraway scent of flowers. The sun kisses the horizon against a backdrop of pink and orange hues, sending its final rays of the day into the field to be scattered throughout it. 

Minseok and Kyungsoo gaze up at the sky, basking in its warmth and sharing the moment in silence. Minseok closes his eyes after awhile but Kyungsoo keeps his open, memorizing all the features of his face. The flutter of Minseok’s eyelashes, the rise and fall of his chest, the curve of his nose, and most of all the content smile on his lips.

The feeling of the warm breeze paired with the wheat brushing his arms etches itself into his memories, and the wonderful rushing feeling of being with Minseok replays itself on a loop in his mind, an intoxicating mix of emotions stirring within his chest. 

“I have a confession.” 

“Hmm?” 

“I’m in love with you, Kim Minseok,” Kyungsoo grins. 

Minseok’s eyes snap open and he sits up, an incredulous look painted on his face as he stares at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo sits up too, grin still present. 

“Are you serious?” 

“You have no idea.” 

There’s no hesitation when their lips crash together, fingers tangled in each other’s hair and chests pressed so close Kyungsoo isn’t sure where he ends and where Minseok begins. 

When they part and Minseok opens his eyes again, he can’t help but laugh. 

“Were your eyes open the whole time?” 

“Maybe,” Kyungsoo says. 

“Weirdo,” Minseok chuckles. 

“I didn’t want to miss anything,” Kyungsoo murmurs, brushing his thumb across Minseok’s bottom lip. 

“You’re supposed to close your eyes anyways.”

“Try again?” 

Minseok kisses him again, and Kyungsoo closes his eyes as the sun finally dips below the horizon.


	7. seven.

Yixing approaches Kyungsoo during the town’s annual end-of-summer cookout. 

“Mind if I sit?”

“Go ahead,” Kyungsoo nods, running his fingers across the plastic ridges of his cup. 

A silence settles, and Kyungsoo can see Yixing staring at him out of the corner of his eyes. He’s reluctant to break the silence, but before he can quietly exit Yixing opens his mouth. 

“I know what you did,” he says, and Kyungsoo stiffens ever so slightly. 

He keeps his mouth shut, waiting to hear what comes next. Without realizing it, he picks out Minseok in the crowd, milling around and making easy conversation with everyone. 

“Guess what I found the other day?” Yixing takes something out of his pocket and it glitters in the fading sunlight, winking up at him. 

Kyungsoo nearly spills his drink.

“It got caught in my fishing net,” Yixing says, turning the necklace around in his hands. “It’s Luhan’s.” 

“I haven’t seen you this serious in years,” Kyungsoo mentions casually, more interested his empty cup than meeting Yixing’s eyes. 

“I know why you did it,” Yixing continues, ignoring him. “And you’re wrong.”

A hollow laugh escapes Kyungsoo’s lips. 

“Yeah? And here I was, thinking you’d be the last person to believe that.” 

“Just because my parents died trying to leave doesn’t mean everyone will,” Yixing says dryly, but Kyungsoo knows that even after all these years he’s still hurting. 

The car accident was passed around town for a month in whispers behind Yixing’s back. On the way back to the city, their car had crashed, and the only reason Yixing was even alive was because of his mother. Kyungsoo knows that Yixing still has nightmares about her dead body, hugging him as he lay trapped in a car with a crushed roof, and he knows that Yixing hasn’t been in a car ever since the accident. 

“You almost died too.” 

“But I’m still here, aren’t I?” Yixing says, bitter tones punctuating his words despite his efforts to keep calm. “You’re paranoid, Kyungsoo.” 

“When’s the last time you heard from Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo asks, and Yixing frowns, suddenly uneasy. 

“What?” 

“Didn’t think so. How about Sehun and Jongin? Do they look like they’re having a good time?” 

Yixing remembers how gaunt Sehun had looked when he returned and how Jongin had flitted around him like a mother hen the entire time, insisting on carrying all the luggage himself. He watched with careful eyes as they conversed in low, scared whispers, and had stood off to the side as Sehun collapsed in Minseok’s arms, too exhausted to lift up his arms for a proper hug. Jongin had hovered around Sehun and Minseok the entire time, never letting either of them out of his sight. 

And now, during one of the last nights of summer, Yixing sees Sehun sitting a distance away from the rest of the crowd, Jongin glued to his side. He traces Sehun’s gaze to Minseok, who’s smiling and making merry. 

“What about Chanyeol? Do you still think he’s addicted to drugs?” Kyungsoo says harshly. Yixing flexes his fingers. 

“How did you become so twisted, Kyungsoo?” He wonders aloud, keeping his voice light. 

“I’m not the one who always has wool over his eyes because he’s too afraid to face reality.” 

“You don’t deserve Minseok.

“And Luhan does?” 

“No,” Yixing says quietly. “He doesn’t either.” 

Kyungsoo turns towards Yixing and he swears he could pierce into his soul with that stare. 

“Do you think you deserve Minseok, Yixing?

“No,” he says, and he means it. “No, I don’t.” 

They lapse into another silence, nerves on the edge of calm and tense, and Yixing isn’t quite sure which side he’s on.

“People spend their entire lives searching for happiness, but what they don’t realize is that sometimes its just around the corner,” Kyungsoo’s words cut into the quiet, shaking Yixing out of his own head.

“And what if it’s not?”

“Then you just have to make your own.” 

“Even if it means breaking someone else’s in the process?”

Kyungsoo hums thoughtfully for a moment, eyes finding Minseok once again. 

“Do you think he looks unhappy?

“You deceived him, Kyungsoo. He trusted you and you betrayed that. Don’t you feel bad? Don’t you feel anything?” 

Yixing doesn’t get a response, and he stands up, dusting dirt off his jeans. 

“Summer will end soon enough, Kyungsoo, and Minseok will find out what you did.

“Are you going to tell him?” Kyungsoo glances his way, not sure what answer he’s looking for. 

“No,” Yixing smiles sadly, “Because I hope one day you will.” 

 

* * *

 

The wedding is small and made in Minseok’s vision. 

They exchange vows in the fields they grew up in, surrounded by a small circle of family and friends. The wind feels the same as it did all those years ago, and Minseok looks just as beautiful with neatly styled hair as he does with grass sticking out of it. 

On that day, Minseok’s smile shines bright enough to obscure the shadow of guilt wrapped around Kyungsoo’s heart, and in those blissful hours the words Yixing had said to him that one summer night melt away. 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo wakes up an hour before his alarm is supposed to ring and finds Minseok silently crying into his shoulder. Alarmed, he sits up, moving to pull him closer

“What’s wrong?”

Minseok shakes his head, furiously wiping his tears away, and Kyungsoo’s chest seizes with anxiety. 

“Why are you crying? Please talk to me.” 

“Do you know you have nightmares? I’ve woken up early every day for this past week, and you’re always frowning, shoulders tensed,” Minseok says quietly. “I should be asking _you_ what’s wrong.” 

“You worry so much,” Kyungsoo mumbles, grabbing Minseok’s hand and tracing his fingers over his ring. “You shouldn’t cry for me.” 

“Kyungsoo…”

“Yeah?” 

“Are you happy?”

Against his will, Kyungsoo’s mind returns to the last time he had seen Junmyeon. He worked at Kart’s, and during Junmyeon’s checkout he had asked the same question he was facing now. Painfully so, he remembers the uncertainty on his old friend’s face, the hope, the note. 

As he meet’s Minseok’s eyes, holds the hand of the man who trusted him enough to throw away his dream for a new one, Kyungsoo comes across the terrible realization that his happiness was not made—it was stolen. 

And now, long overdue, it was time to return it. 

“Minseok,” he begins, “I have something to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and  
> i hope you're happy


End file.
